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Why You MUST Love Yourself First

love yourself first

When I initially heard the words “love yourself first” I thought this was an extremely selfish way to be. If each one of us only cared about ourselves then how could we create more peace and harmony in the world? How is that spiritual and in alignment with Universal Law?

Although at the time of having this opinion I was very insecure and lacked true confidence in key areas of my life.

Sure, I had a successful career in hospitality and always knew how to manifest a good income. I was also in a relationship and on face value there was nothing drastically “wrong”, yet none of this gave me what I needed. Something was always missing…

It was like there was a void that, regardless of what I achieved, couldn’t be satisfied. Even on a really good day,  it felt like a heavy weight which I was unable to connect with and free myself of. I had no idea what it was or why it was even there.

When I compare my lifestyle now to how it was back then, I can clearly see how I was living a “half life” by settling for far less than I really wanted. My well paying job and so called “romantic relationship” were both so far removed from happiness, yet I couldn’t even see it. And the reason I was blind to it for so long was because my true “self” had been forgotten about.

There was an intrinsic part of me that was being consistently silenced and ignored. Which after a long time, resulted in me being unaware of my own worthiness and value not just as a woman, but as a human being.

But when you’re accustomed to a way of life that teaches you to “just get on with it”, it’s hard to pinpoint what that longing is all about. And this is a major problem that most people I’ve met all suffer from in one way or another. Yet they can’t see it because they don’t know any different.

Expressions such as “no pain, no gain”, “love hurts” and “life’s hard” is what 99% of society are programmed into believing from birth. Learn more about that here

What “Love Yourself First” Really Means

The idea of loving myself sounded nice in theory but it’s took me years to release all those blocks to self love.

Loving and accepting myself fully (including all of my past mistakes) never seemed that important to me. Whereas in the end it became essential for me to not only find peace within but also give the Universe permission to deliver the happiness I craved.

It’s only when you acknowledge your true self and align with your heart’s desires that you can fully embrace life. And after 10 years of studying the Law of Attraction and other spiritual teachings, there’s one conclusion I’ve come to…

Loving yourself first is the only way to true emotional fulfillment. And this personal fulfillment is how we:

  1. Become of great service and value to the rest of the world
  2. Create an abundant lifestyle for ourselves and our family

When you love yourself enough to honour the unique and incredible person you were put on this Earth to be, the Universe delivers tenfold. Watch my video below to fully understand how and why (or carry on reading for a general overview)


Check out the Law of Attraction Miracle Process here

How to love yourself first

Loving yourself first is not selfish – how can you be of service to others if you’ve got nothing to serve with?

When you love yourself first, you start saying no to people. It’s no longer about whether you’re good enough for them. Instead you ask yourself questions such as “Are they good enough for me? Is this job worthy of my time, effort and energy? Is this person worthy enough of my love? Am I able to have the freedom I need to grow and be the best version of me in this particular circumstance?” Where is the majority of my focus and energy going? Is it going towards my dreams and desires or is it being wasted?

When you align with your desires, you’re loving yourself first. And the Universe will begin to match it because we only get what we’re willing to accept and we only receive from the Universe what we’re willing to. A lot of this has to do with belief. Whatever the story or theme is, that is what we will get matched with – the beliefs going on in our head.

And as mentioned, those beliefs are formed when we’re small children from birth. Society teaches us how to be in terms of what we should or should not be doing when we get older. A lot of rich successful people (i.e. Oprah Winfrey who’ve had negative upbringings) what they’ve done is changed their beliefs and by thinking “I’m going to choose better for myself and switch that story-line” And it’s done by loving themselves first and saying “I’ve had enough – I want better for myself Universe”.

Love yourself first exercise:

If you don’t feel like you’ve got the strength or the confidence to make those shifts and make that big move this is a really powerful exercise:

Start writing down all the things that you appreciate about yourself. Maybe even just start off with 10 things. Specific examples that are evidence of how clever, attractive etc you are. Get into the habit of doing that on a daily basis.

What’s going to happen is your belief about yourself, whether it be in terms of love, income, life purpose, creativity, talent, you’ll be moving on to your destined pathway the Universe has laid out for you.

My Law of Attraction Miracle Process will help you to speed this process up in just 14 days.

Loving yourself first is crucial because when we’re able to have a consistent loving relationship with yourself, you become your own source of strength and confidence. You’re not looking externally for anyone or anything else to build you up. Loving yourself first changes the way people talk to you, the way they treat you because when you start to see yourself in a different way, you start to see others in a different way. They start to see you in a different way.

Your relationships mirror back to you the relationship you have with yourself, because people start to realize very quickly that they can’t treat you badly.

When I began making the right choices for me, it was like a backlog where the Universe had been waiting for me to do what was right – follow my intuition, follow that calling. And by putting myself first and loving myself first, all these blessings began raining down on me.

So you’ll notice when you get up to speed with your desires and love yourself first, the Universe will mirror back to you exactly what you’ve been wanting all this time.

And unless you’re brave enough to make that decision, you’re blocking your own progress.

Remember, the Universe requires you to align with the person you want to be – with the person who has a loving relationship and a rewarding job that pays well, respecting your time,creativity and talent. But you need to see yourself in that light first and foremost.

Now is the time for you to really challenge the limitations in your life. And ask yourself, what is it that I want? Am I prepared to love myself that much and align with what I’m truly wanting and asking for? If you don’t love yourself first, then you can’t expect other people to make you a priority or to treat you with the love and the respect that you do deserve as a human being.

You need to lead by example. Click here for 7 more ways on how to achieve self love

So that’s why loving yourself first is essential because then you stop looking to other people to fill that void. What do you believe that you deserve to have in this life? Ask yourself that question and write down what comes to you. The Universe is waiting for you to stand up and say “I’m loving myself first” because when I love myself first, I have more to provide to other people in this world by the way I’m being and behaving – the person I’m choosing to be from this day forward.

And who that person is… is for you to decide. You hold all the power.

Love & Light,

Holly xx

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