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Think Tranquility

Small steps... that can make a big difference today

There are many people who misunderstand the concept of self love – and they call it selfish or self-absorbed.

And yeah, to a degree they’re right because self love is about putting yourself first.

Self love, in short, is an act of kindness towards yourself. It’s about fulfilling your own needs.  And it can be demonstrated in millions and millions of ways…

It could be something really basic like I’m thirsty right now so I’m going to have a drink or I don’t have any clothes so I’m going to buy myself an entire brand new wardrobe.

It can be one extreme or the other, it really doesn’t matter.

Although there are many reasons why self love is actually the opposite of selfish…

Click the video below to get an in depth understanding of why self love is the opposite of selfish or keep reading to get a simple breakdown…



The three top reasons as to why self love is the opposite of selfish is:

#1 Self love equals more love towards others

If you’re happy and more confident within yourself, you’re going to have the same attitude towards everyone else.

You’re going to look at other people and see those same type of strengths.

If you’re exuberant, energetic and feeling great, then there’s not much negative thought going on in your head. Therefore, because you’re in that place yourself, you’re going to be infectious (by laughing and joking) and naturally better company to be in.

We can all relate to having a really good day and that’s exactly how we feel but we cannot achieve this feeling and be happy unless we have a certain level of self love in our lives.

#2 It enhances all of your relationships

An extension of the first, the second reason self love is the opposite of selfish is because it improves relationships. When you’re giving yourself regular self love by looking after your needs and you’re not tired or stressed out, you have more time and energy to give that love to someone else. Whether that be your Mum, your husband, wife, children, your siblings, colleagues, neighbours – basically anyone you come into contact with. Again, you tend to be a lot nicer to be around.

It also importantly sets the standard for how other people treat you.

Self love boosts the relationships you have with the right people. It also sends out a clear signal to people who might take advantage. Whether that be in a romantic relationship or any other type of relationship. It’s saying “Look, I respect and love myself – I’m worthy. And my time is just as precious as yours. I’m not going to be at your beck and call. I’m not going to just do whatever you expect of me, because I’ve got my own life too.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s all about self preservation. If you’re unhappy, you cannot make other people happy. And so that kind of relates back to what I was saying… the more you have, the more you have to share and give.

So in order to achieve quality relationships, self love is the key.

#3 Self love is a spiritual law

Many people who are religious, Christians for example, think that personal development and self love is very selfish – but there are so many examples of self love and personal growth in the Bible.

A common phrase that people use is “you reap what you sow” and “love thy neighbour as thyself” Well, those are biblical verses referring to self love.

Love is unconditional. Love is in omnipresent. There’s not a limited supply… it’s like gravity and it’s everywhere.

If I love me chances are I’m going to love you. I’m going to appreciate you more because I appreciate myself. If you are appreciating yourself and you’re appreciating someone else, you’re more likely to see the good in others because that’s the way you’re programming your mind. That’s a neurological fact. However there’s a big reason why a lot of people struggle with self love and a lot of it has to do with beliefs formed during childhood. Find out more here >>>

So whether you’re looking at it from a spiritual perspective or from a scientific perspective, love is self-replenishing.

Love grows and evolves. Think about when you’ve been totally in love with someone – that love just lights you up from within, literally and it’s such a beautiful thing. So why not direct that towards yourself?

When you are in love, everything is great in your life. Even the bad stuff is not a big deal.

So imagine having that feeling all the time. And if you do believe in God, you know, God resides within each and every single one of us, his spirit is within us. If our minds are full of love, and our hearts are full of love, that’s going to have a ripple effect on everything and everyone that we come into contact with. It’s the basic Law of Attraction


Self love is the best way in approaching any kind of problem in life, to think to yourself “Okay, how can I contribute better towards this? How can I improve the relationship that I’m having with myself? Because if I’m happy within myself, it doesn’t matter what is thrown at me in life. I’m ready, I’m prepared and I’m going to be able to communicate with people in a more loving way”

So in short, if you practice self love more of the time it will give you the following benefits… you will have more to give to those you care about and your relationships will improve. You won’t find yourself in a co-dependent relationships and needing someone else to give you what you’re searching for. You’ll be more desirable and valued and people are going to love spending time with you. You’ll be attracting the right people towards you each and every single time, plus every element of your life will reflect the improved quality of love you have for yourself.

Check out my 7 top tips for achieving self love here >>>

Love & Light,

Holly xx

PS: Share your own personal stories of self love and any comments below. Feel free to share also!

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Kasey Borgen
Kasey Borgen
5 months ago

Hello, I really enjoyed reading your article. Thank you very much for putting this together for people to understand and benefit from ♡

I was interested in the self-love and childhood link provided, however I don’t think its linked to the proper article.

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x

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